Hello and welcome to a slightly delayed jaunt to the land of meat filled mirth as we once again go into the breach with a pie in honour of our nation’s bard, Robert Burns, from the house that staunch built as Rangers took on Stranraer in Scottish Cup action.
Regular readers will know that I have had a tumultuous history with the “Pie of the Month” offerings of Ibrox visits past. The wonderful sounding Pie 147: Chicken & Chorizo Pie still haunts my weekly pie queue daydreams. A filling akin to an emptying of hot sick that somehow managed to turn the usual stampede of flavour that chorizo brings into a quivering new born foal. The lid coming clean off in what I can only assume was a last desperate attempt at freedom by the chicken that had been so cruelly sacrificed as part of this pastries misconception.
It’s still not the worst pie I have encountered of my now many years of travels though, that accolade belongs to Pie 126: The Queen’s Park Cheese & Onion Pie. A pie that I described at the time as both “bland and yet somehow offensive” with pastry saw raw that even the most discerning of play-doh eating toddlers would turn their nose up at smashing it into their face.
So yes, as I ordered my latest big venue luxury offering, I did so with much trepidation. Was that trepidation merited? Well without much further ado, let’s rate some pie!
Where: Ibrox Stadium, Rangers 2-0 Stranraer, Scottish Cup 4th Round
Price: £3.10. The first of what turned out to be a number of pleasant surprises, on an evening devoid of much on-field entertainment, this pastry came in a full 40p less than the last luxury offering sampled in Glasgow’s Southside. For a captive audience the pricing is still more than plenty but the four pound coins resting in my hand were released with just a little more ease than they had been before.
Presentation: It was a little thin but sufficient in size to keep your pastry safe in hand and the mouth clear of debris once you had taken, and hopefully savoured, your final bite. It’s tin foil housing a little loose and perhaps, from my reckoning at least, superfluous for the need.
Meatiness: There was no fuss here with no melange to speak of, just a healthy dollop of decently flavoured haggis. There was a kick spicy enough to set off a few pin pricks on the surface of the tongue but the texture was just a bit too tight, almost claggy in the mouth once you had ruminated on it for a second or two. Not unpleasant but not quite good enough to dub it as the very best version of what it could be.
Pastry: A touch pale. I wouldn’t want to leave this sitting unattended during one of those rarely seen scorching Scottish days for fear of it turning a shade of crimson that would make it appear to be inedible, but structurally it certainly held well enough. There was a slightly clumsy swirl of smooth if a little under seasoned mashed potato whilst the final flourish, a dab of neeps on top was crushed, one can only assume from transit, but the flavour and colour contrast between the two was a welcome addition.
Overall: A significant improvement on Pie of the Month offerings of light blue concessions past. It wasn’t perfect, the pastry needed some more colour, the haggis a little less manipulation into the casing and the veg an extra notch or two of seasoning but overall this was a handy little pie.
I’ve stripped back this review. For a while now there has been things that have felt convoluted and it’s sometimes easy to forget that when you are both editor and scribe that you can improve things along the way as much by subtraction as you can with addition.
The next review is yet to be confirmed, but it will be on its way, we’ve got 200 pies to eat. However, until next time, go forth and eat pie!
Chris Marshall, is a BJTC accredited Radio Journalist with an honours degree in Communications & Mass Media from Glasgow Caledonian University. Editor of Leading the Line, A Scottish Women’s Football writer and a contributor to various football websites, podcasts and publications. A perennial ‘Scottish Sporting Optimist’ and part-time Madrileno with a passion for food and football that has manifest itself in the wonder that is Meat Filled Pastries.
Now if I’m being honest my hand was forced a little so this new aspect to the blog is perhaps debuting a little earlier than I had anticipated. As a 5th week of non-league fixture call offs rolled in I found myself wrapped up in the magic of the cup and a trip to Edinburgh to see if Spartans or indeed Berwick Rangers could continue to defy the odds as for either of these clubs to be Scottish Cup quarter finalists is a feat not to be sniffed at. On my arrival to Ainslie Park I was greeted with a sea of humanity draped in red and white or black and gold. A crowd of over 2500 to see a game that in normal circumstances would be luck to even see a fifth of that. This is where the problem arrived. Usually I like to arrive early to the ground to ensure a pie is destined for my belly but on this, the most busy of days, the fates conspired against me. The incredulousness in my voice when I was offered a hot dog instead was perhaps a tad too far but it was then matched with relief that my trip to Edinburgh had not been in vain and a Haggis and Neeps Pasty was on offer.
So with a meat filled pastry in hand, all be it in a slightly altered format, let’s rate some pie! Eh, I mean pasty!
Where: Ainslie Park, Spartans 1-1 Berwick Rangers, Scottish Cup 5th Round
Price: We enter new territory here, as I have no point of reference for pasty prices. My inclination would be to say that these goods should be no more or no less than the humble pie but we’ll see how things pan out. This offering was £1.50 a relative bargain and certainly nothing to complain about.
Presentation: This was curiously placed on a paper plate with no accompanying napkin. Now I’m willing to let the absence of a napkin slide as a table just beside the hatch could well have been housing a batch of mouth cleaning softness but I have a small issue with the plate. For all the benefits it gives in gathering any meat and pastry spillages it is also an awkward thing to hold whilst juggling a drink and programme. You’re also unable to roll a plate into a ball and put it in your pocket should no bins be present thus resulting in a bit of impromptu origami. This is just personal preference, but unless you know what you’re providing has a high moisture content then wrapping your pasty round a napkin is fine by me.
Meatiness: It’s still a meat filled pastry so we shall still be assessing the meatiness of this offering and boy what a treat this was. Once you got to the filling, more on this later, you were greeted first with a lovely warm hit of smooth peppery haggis, spiced as you expect with the occasional pop of oats as you chewed through. Surprisingly though the real stars here were the small squares of neeps (in this case I’m guessing using swedes to take on the mantle, both by the colour and taste) tucked in and around the haggis adding little bursts of sweetness to cut through the spice. The filling here was sublime, an absolute triumph and lingered longer after completion had been completed.
Pastry: One of the good things about a pie is that by in large the pastry to filling ratio is pretty consistent aided by its hot water crust foundations with other pastries however, such as this pasty, the pastry will tend to be puff in nature and so the balance can vary quite significantly dependent on where you go. In this case there was perhaps a little too much pastry as my first, vegetarian friendly, bite would suggest with me unable to reach its meaty core until bite two was completed. Don’t get me wrong the pastry was flaky and tasted as golden as it looked it was just a little bit much although I’m pleased to report that it stayed together well at my mouths command.
Brown Sauce: With no obvious well for the sauce to sit in, as found atop a pie, no sauce would be forthcoming to this pasty.
Overall: A bit heavy on the pastry but wowsers what a filling, a helluva introduction to the world of non-pie based pastries.
Gravy Factor: Burns Night Gravy. Worthy of a national bard.
Well that is how you set the standard when you’re the first of a new breed, I look forward to seeing how others rise to the challenge. Next up though we will be returning to where it all started with a scotch pie offering from Airdrieonians.
Until next time go forth and eat pie! Or a pasty!
Chris Marshall, is a BJTC accredited Radio Journalist with an honours degree in Communications & Mass Media from Glasgow Caledonian University. He has contributed to prominent football sites including Pie & Bovril, The Terrace Podcast, The Football Pink and The FBA’s as well as featuring in The Scotsman, STV and a number of other media outlets. A perennial Scottish Sporting Optimist with a passion for food that has manifest itself in the wonder that is Meat Filled Pastries.