junior football

Pie 133: The Saltcoats Victoria Pie

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I’m making use of a rare hangover free Saturday morning to bring you another edition of Meat Filled Pastries. The original plan was to head out for a Park Run but I have been wiped this week so I’ve swapped the tarmac for typing. In two weeks time however I won’t have that option as I take part in the Glasgow Men’s 10K (the running shoes are on stand by for tomorrow morning). Once upon a time I couldn’t run ten metres without my body questioning what madness had taken over. There’s still times when that madness still descends so to keep me right I always run for the Kick Cancer’s Backside Fund in memory of my mate Smit who died aged 28 from bowel cancer.

If you like my stories of pie, think cancer is a bastard or have a few pennies to spare then the link above takes you to our fundraising site. All donations go direct to the Bobby Moore Fund for Bowel Cancer Research. We’ve raised over £40,000 since his death and I continue to be astounded by the generosity people can show. If you’ve read this and have donated then thank you.

Right, charity shilling complete let’s get into the meat of this matter and so without much further ado, let’s rate some pie!

Where: Campbell Park, Saltcoats Victoria 0-11 Pollok, West of Scotland Cup, 2nd Round

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Price: £1.70. Yes this is expensive for a junior pie but in some way, as I watched the players of Saltcoats chase shadows during an 11-0 defeat, I was at peace with this. If I have to pay an extra 20p to help keep these players playing (at the very bottom rung of the junior ladder where glory is seldom an option) for another season then no worries. I’d be the first one to bemoan a club going to the wall due to a lack of funding. As an aside Saltcoats are yet another Ayrshire based junior outfit who offer up a Killie Pie for consumption, albeit at a slightly higher price point.

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Presentation: A rarely seen in the juniors shiny silver case meant that on this, one of Scotland’s sunnier days, the pie seemed to retain its heat for eternity. A single sheet of white kitchen roll provided some respite from juggling the straight out of the oven case.

Meatiness: I think if I had to describe the filling of this pie it would be as functional. The meat was decently textured and flavoured with no stand out contributing factors. There was no discernible kick to speak of but the filling held well inside the pastry case and as my first meal of the day after a few pints it more than did the job of satisfying my hunger.

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Pastry: Again another functional piece of pie making, kudos for ensuring that the pie was sealed well enough that it didn’t stick to the bottom of the tin and it did have a nice crisp texture to the bite. The kind of crispness where you can break a bit off and dip it into the condiment of choice atop of your pie. Which brings us neatly to…

Brown Sauce: I was a bit reckless with my squirt and so a thicker than normal layer of Asda’s (I think!) finest added the vinegary, spicy tang that only brown sauce can.

Overall: If you’re hungry and want a pie. This will do the job.

Gravy Factor: Standard Bisto.

Another pie bites the crust (love a pun!). I have a bridie review lined up next from my hometown club and the Southside’s finest, Pollok. I’ve decided that whilst the junior season wraps up I’m going to get through as many pastry reviews as possible knowing that I have a couple of long reads and a World Cup of Scran to look forward to.

But until next time, go forth and eat pie!

Chris Marshall, is a BJTC accredited Radio Journalist with an honours degree in Communications & Mass Media from Glasgow Caledonian University. He has contributed to prominent football sites including Pie & Bovril, The Terrace Podcast, The Football Pink and The FBA’s as well as featuring in The Scotsman, STV and a number of other media outlets. A perennial ‘Scottish Sporting Optimist’ and part time Madrileno with a passion for food that has manifest itself in the wonder that is Meat Filled Pastries. 

 

 

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Pie 132: The Hurlford United “Onion” Pie

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Sometimes, I forget where I have and haven’t eaten a pie before. Well that’s not strictly true, I will have almost always have eaten a pie but have I reviewed it? My latest trip to Hurlford United is a good example of this occasional quandary.

I have visited Blair Park a number of times since I started this website/blog/travel guide of Scotland’s most random villages and towns and I know that I had at least written one review of their standard Scotch Pie. I also knew that they stocked the infamous Killie Pie, or The Kilmarnock Pie to use modern parlance, but I had never reviewed it here as naturally, I waited until I had reached this pies natural home of Rugby Park, which turned out to be just a few weeks later.

Some places are known for their variety of pastries. Offering not only pies in a variety of flavours but sausage rolls, pasties and bridies too. Others less so often focusing on one core product, the majestic Scotch Pie. Hurlford United (in my head anyway) were always somewhere in between so it was with some slight befuddlement in my voice I responded with “Aye mate!”, when propositioned with an Onion Pie from their Pie Hut that greets you as you enter the ground. How had I missed this? Has this always been here? Have I been depriving myself of the best pastry that The Ford have to offer for years? I had to know!

So without much further ado, let’s rate some pie!

Where: Blair Park, Hurlford United 3-3 Pollok, West Superleague Premier Division

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Price: £1.50. As previously discussed in my most recent review from Bathgate Thistle a quid and a half is a growing trend in the pie pricing world. Onion Pie’s are a particularly strange breed when it comes to categorising. In theory it’s a luxury pie what with it not being a Scotch Pie pure breed but at the same time it’s essence is essentically scotch with some onion chucked in and so my expectation would be that the price remains much the same. In most cases (including this one) that is always the case and even if you were to grumble you’re still only paying £1.50 for a hot lunch of perfectly balanced carbohydrates and protein. Never to be sniffed at.

Presentation: There seems to be an excess of napkins floating around the junior football scene as for the second review in a row I was presented with not one, but two sheets of white paper goodness. The added benefit being that you not only get to have a napkin to hold your pastry in but you also have an almost un-splattered second one to clean your top lip.

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Meatiness: So with an onion pie, I always find that the ratio of meat to onion can vary. Anywhere from 75/25 in favour of meat to more than 50/50 in favour of onion. I don’t think there’s a right answer on this as it totally depends on the type and pungency of your onion but for me a good ratio can be told by the smell of the pie, and this pie, undoubtedly had an oniony tinge on the nose and with further inspection it’s presence clearly visible ingredient as a pastry filling. Once I took my first bite there was a slight hint of sweet onion flavour however what was more predominant was a fiery pepper kick, for me a bit too strong as it overpowered the meat, which whilst had a fairly decent texture, lacked the oomph to compete. The onion also soon wilted against the power of pepper and by the end the kick had turn to a slight burn in the back of the throat. Which ultimately, was a little bit disappointing.

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Pastry: The pastry was a little patchy but had crisped up nicely on the top edges to a lovely golden colour. What was a joy was the unexpected chew of a jerky like substance that had boiled out of the pie a little, like a little nugget of fatty onion flavour. The tell tale two holes of an onion pie were also present and all in all at no point did I fear losing the meaty morsels within.

Brown Sauce: Hands up! I can’t remember the brand but given the taste and appearance it’s slightly vinegar tang added a nice layer to the overall eat.

Overall: Variety is the spice of life so it was good to see another pie offering from Hurlford United, if I was to eat one of these again I’d like to see a little less of that pepper spice just to smooth out the taste.

Gravy Factor: Onion Gravy with a hefty kick!

I think it’s fair to say I haven’t fully got back in to the rhythm of regularly writing. I have quite the backlog at the moment of ideas and concepts but when I hit a mental block I always ensure there’s a pie or two in reserve to try to get the juices flowing. With that in mind I have another review from Ayrshire coming in the not distant future, this time from Saltcoats Victoria, the games are coming thick and fast, and where possible I’m hunting out a new review before the season ends but until next time, go forth and eat pie!

Chris Marshall, is a BJTC accredited Radio Journalist with an honours degree in Communications & Mass Media from Glasgow Caledonian University. He has contributed to prominent football sites including Pie & Bovril, The Terrace Podcast, The Football Pink and The FBA’s as well as featuring in The Scotsman, STV and a number of other media outlets. A perennial ‘Scottish Sporting Optimist’ and part time Madrileno with a passion for food that has manifest itself in the wonder that is Meat Filled Pastries. 

Pie 131: The Bathgate Thistle Pie

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Hi folks, I’m finding myself starting to get a bit behind with these again, it’s the way of the junior football season. You go November to February with hardly a fixture to seek and then the clocks change and all of a sudden you are left with a veritable smorgasboard of fixtures to go to at the business end of the season.

I was having a look at the numbers behind the site and was staggered to learn that these here gospels of pie have reached 125(!) countries across the globe. It’s mad for me to think that somebody could be sitting and reading this with their feet up on the beach in St. Lucia, at base camp of Mount Everest in Nepal or whilst munching an arepa at a bar in Venezuela. The world is getting ever smaller and I’d love to think that somewhere somebody has read one of these stories and took it upon themselves to book a flight and head to Scotland all in search of the mythical scotch pie they have so often read about. It sounds mad, but is also the kind of thing I’d decide to do, and if I would then I know someone else out there would too.

That’s never going to happen though if I stop feeding their inspiration so let’s move on to a new pie review from Bathgate Thistle who have their scotch pies provided by a former two-time World Scotch Pie Champions in Boghall Butchers so no pressure here lads.

Without much further ado let’s rate some pie!

Where: Creamery Park, Bathgate Thistle 1-2 Dundee Downfield, East Premier League

Price: £1.50. Slowly creeping more and more into the pricing structures of a junior Scotch Pie, compared with some of the £2+ aboominations you get at senior grounds though it’s still decent.

Presentation: Standard presentational practices here, except it was doubled! That’s right, not just one, but two medium-sized white napkins, more than sufficient to hold the pastry and mop your lip afterwards.

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Meatiness: This was a well filled pastry with a little layer of air on top to allow the meat to breathe in its pastry tomb. The texture was just right, easy on the bite and with a little give to it. Minimal risk of spillage unless you started getting reckless. The taste was predominantly meaty and savoury with a light pepper kick that was pleasant and finished with a little linger. You can understand why this pie has seen success in the past, everything done very well from a meaty perspective.

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Pastry: The pastry was solid and held well throughout consumption. The base was firm and the top golden, there was a little bit of boil out but I’m OK with that and often believe it adds an extra wee note of flavour to your pastry. I’ve found that when I don’t have a lot to say about the pastry that tends to be a good sign.

Brown Sauce: A squeeze of Asda’s own brand was plenty for this pastry.

Overall: A Scotch Pie Hall of Famer and I can see why as all in all this was just a very good scotch pie, perhaps a little by the numbers, but ultimately you’d be super harsh to try to criticise it.

Gravy Factor: The kind of gravy that you’d be happy to give to everyone from your mates to your gran, nothing controversial, just a solid, well-executed scotch pie.

So a good bit of pie there from Bathgate Thistle. I now have just the two pie reviews and two editions of the International Soccer Scran series to get through over the coming couple of weeks so keep your eyes peeled for more updates. I also feel like there’s something to be done for the World Cup but haven’t fully formed an idea on that yet.

So until next time, go forth and eat pie!

Chris Marshall, is a BJTC accredited Radio Journalist with an honours degree in Communications & Mass Media from Glasgow Caledonian University. He has contributed to prominent football sites including Pie & Bovril, The Terrace Podcast, The Football Pink and The FBA’s as well as featuring in The Scotsman, STV and a number of other media outlets. A perennial ‘Scottish Sporting Optimist’ and part time Madrileno with a passion for food that has manifest itself in the wonder that is Meat Filled Pastries. 

Pie 130: The Girvan “Sausage Roll” Pie

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Aye alright I know this isn’t a pie, but it is a meat filled pastry, and given the successful tasting experience that was Pie 129: The Girvan Scotch Pie it would have been remiss of me not to give this a bash whilst I was in the area.

More on that in a minute but speaking of things that aren’t quite pies it would be equally remiss of me not to mention the launching of a new venture from your intrepid pie eater. For nearly five years I have travelled the country and beyond tasting a wide variety of pies, pasties, sausage rolls and bridies, casting judgement on what I believe to be a good meat filled pastry. I have also for a large part of that time been a frequent visitor (including a few months as an inhabitant) to Spain where they and their Latin American cousins share my passion for a good pastry.

So what does this all mean? Well I am happy to announce a new venture: Empanadas Escoces. My attempt to bring the best of hispanic pastries to Glasgow and who knows maybe beyond. I have no idea how this will go. It could be a disaster. It could be a runaway success. Either way I’m going to give it a bash and see what happens. I’ll no doubt post the odd update on here but if you want to keep up to date with everything as it happens then you can follow @empanadassco on Twitter & Instagram whilst you can also find news on Facebook by searching Empanadas Escoces. If this site has taught me anything over the last few years it’s that you never know until you have a go.

Empanadas Escoces

With that public service announcement out the way, let’s get back to the reason why you all came here in the first place. Without much further ado, let’s rate some sausage roll!

Where: Hamilton Park, Girvan 0-5 Pollok, West Superleague Premier Division

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Oh by the way, this is Ronnie, he’s one of the regular home and away crew when going to Pollok games. There you go son you are now pie famous. Anyway…

Price: £1.20. Exactly the same as a pie. It’s funny but sometimes the price of a sausage roll (or any other non pie pastry for that matter) can vary greatly when compared to the prince of pastries so it was good to see a consistent price point here.

Presentation: With a sausage roll the napkin has an added significance as instead of being used to place your pastry on it is almost an automatic reflex to wrap said roll in its soft white paper duvet. In this instance the size of the napkin was more than sufficient.

Meatiness: On first looks, as I hope this picture illustrates, this was a massive roll. This, perhaps surprisingly, had me a little concerned as usually big appearances mean that the meat to pastry ratio can be way off, and in some cases downright unacceptable. I am happy to report though that on this occasion the meat content just about made the grade. A puff pastry case will always struggle to compete with a hot water crust when it comes to meat content percentages but with this pastry I felt I was getting a decent sized banger for my buck. The sausage meat had a nice texture with the levels of fat just right to add moistness whilst the meat itself was very tasty. One thing I did notice as I made my way through was the presence of a yellow smear on top of the sausage meat. My only conclusion is that it had to be mustard and if it was it certainly didn’t distract my taste buds during the eating experience.

Pastry: Whilst there was lots of pastry (perhaps a little too much) there was no doubting the quality of the bake. The layers evenly split and flaky whilst the colour on the outside was golden and even. One of the common fall down points for a sausage roll can be the pastry slipping off and you being left with a limp sausage dangling from your fist shorn of its pastry sheath. In this case there was no risk of that happening.

Brown Sauce: Logistically, for me anyway, condiments on a sausage roll just don’t make sense. They slide off, have nowhere to realistically gather and in general are just a bit of a mess.

Overall: Excellent if slightly too plentiful pastry wrapped around some well-flavoured sausage meat. What was that yellow substance though?

Gravy Factor: A Bangin’ Banger.

Well I think it’s safe to say that Girvan has gone on the list of “good football eat locations” with a more than solid scotch pie and sausage roll offering. Well played. Moving on and for fans of the pie reviews this weekend I took a trip to Bathgate Thistle who’s pies are supplied by a former 2x winner of the World Scotch Pie Championship so that will be going on the site soon whilst my International Soccer Scran Series will next take us to Nuremberg. So plenty to look forward to but until next time, go forth and eat pie!

Chris Marshall, is a BJTC accredited Radio Journalist with an honours degree in Communications & Mass Media from Glasgow Caledonian University. He has contributed to prominent football sites including Pie & Bovril, The Terrace Podcast, The Football Pink and The FBA’s as well as featuring in The Scotsman, STV and a number of other media outlets. A perennial ‘Scottish Sporting Optimist’ with a passion for food that has manifest itself in the wonder that is Meat Filled Pastries. He’s now taken this passion further in the form of Empanadas Escoces a venture inspired by the taste of Spanish pies and a desire to bring them to Scottish Shores.

 

Pie 74: The Greenock Pie – A Meat Filled Tribute

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Hello and welcome to Meat Filled Pastries the home of pies, pies and a little bit of football chat. Usually I would have a light-hearted pre-amble about something that has irked me about the recent weeks football activities but today will be slightly different.

A year ago to the week one of my closest friends passed away after a 2 year battle with bowel cancer, last week I was asked to say a few words about him as a tribute and for once I struggled. Not because I didn’t miss him, because I do sometimes without even knowing it. No the reason I struggled, me, the man who once a week writes a 1000 word diatribe based around pies, is that for all the words I write and say they don’t really mean anything, not really. I’m glad it spreads a little happiness and I’ll continue to do for as long as its fun but it’s not going to change the world. Might change a few pie suppliers, but not the world. So here it is, inspired by the eloquent and heartfelt sentiments of his friends and family I do my best to truly articulate what my friend meant to me, a meat filled tribute if you will:

Smit was a wonderful man and friend. For all the time I knew him he never once changed who he was or how he acted for anyone and that’s because he didn’t have to. Every day eulogies appear where someone is dubbed as the kindest or the nicest or the most well liked person and I’m sure in their own way they are but in Smit there was a man who nobody could say a bad word about. He would always be there for some hijinks or there to call you an idiot, something I had much experience of but most importantly he was always there. Even through the traumas of chemotherapy, of endless doctors appointments and hospital stays I never one felt that he wanted you to be anything other than normal with him. To live life to the end with that strength is something that I can only aspire too.

Smit died aged just 28 an age at which no person should pass away. When something like that happens its hard not to evaluate your own sense of worth and the decisions you make, it’s just human nature, the sudden realisation that life is fleeting and then invincibility of youth is a cruel façade that can be so quickly and unfairly taken away. The words of Meat Filled Pastries may not have been here was it not for the likes of ‘The Grambler’ and ‘Rubbertoe Mankini’ some of Stewart’s finest creations and the choices I make now are not made with more than a thought to what he would do if he was standing there beside me. I’ve become a little braver and I’d like to think a little wiser but these changes pale in comparison against what my friend had to go through.  I will always remember, I will never forget.

A year down the line and the focus of Stewart’s friends and family are firmly focused on raising the profile of bowel cancer and The Kick Bowel Cancer’s Backside Fund has raised nearly £15,000 to date. If you want to donate then you can do so at the following link, https://www.justgiving.com/Geraldine-Smith3/, you don’t have to but if you do it will be greatly appreciated.

The Grambler  is still going strong left in the capable hands of Stewart’s father Kevin, who continues to produce the betting tips that will win one day win you millions and all it asks in return is you push a little of those winnings towards the funds way. Below is a link to those testimonies I described earlier, if you’ve got this far you might as well read a little further:

http://www.thegrambler.com/2014/08/week-4-tribute-to-our-founder.html

The next fund-raising event is scheduled for Sunday 7th September and below I’ve attached all the information you need to know for a fun filled family day out!

fit fun day

Thank you for bearing with me through all that if it’s not your cup of tea I understand but it would be remiss of me not to use my mild infamy to promote something close to my heart. But for now let’s have a change of pace and why many of you are, without much further ado, let’s rate some pie!

THE SURROUNDINGS

Where: Ravenscraig Stadium, Greenock v Pollok, West of Scotland Superleague, First Division

A Tipsy Pie...
A Tipsy Pie…

Price: £1. One single golden nugget has to depart from your paw to be rewarded with a meat and pastry snack. That my friend, in today’s world of £59.7m Angle Di Marias and £16m Danny Welbecks , is an absolute bargain.

Presentation: Being a scotch pie this rode bare back in my hand with just a medium-sized white blanket playfully wrapped around it.

THE PIE

Pie day is Cheat Day!
Pie day is Cheat Day!

Meatiness: This was a traditional scotch pie but if I’m being honest it was all rather disappointing. There was definitely a meaty centre derived from the most aged of mutton but it lacked any real flavour. There was no peppery hit and neither was there a savoury note to the meat inside. It was moist but didn’t feel lubricated with the wafer thin film of grease that a good scotch pie should leave on your lips as you consume it. This was certainly an instance where I was thankful for a healthy dollop of HP to add some much needed spice and zing.

Pastry: The pastry was OK, it was a hot water crust and a little crispy but also managed to be a little too soft on the sides at the same time. There was no hole in top to let the heat escape although to be fair I am yet to be convinced those pies that give a sneak peek of the meat inside do so for no other reason than aesthetic appeal. There is nothing more frustrating than a pie that you can’t get enthused about when you spend a good chunk of your time reviewing them but the pastry on this pie did little to lift my apathy.

Overall: I ate it, but it’s not devastating to think that it could be another wee while before I have another one.

Gravy Factor: A little below bog standard Bisto. Disappointing.

The next helping of pie will be from an as yet undetermined location so keep your eye out by following me @MFPTasty.

However, until next time, go forth and eat pie!

Pie 73: The Arthurlie ‘Steak’ Pie

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Hello and first of all my humblest apologies as it has been a couple of weeks since my last pie story and I can assure you that it’s not for a lack of football in the time since my last entry.  visited both Beith and Airdrieonians but on each occasion was disappointed to find that new pies were not to be found whilst my own team have been in the midst of a raft of home games that’s not due to end for a couple of weeks yet.

In Beith the steak pie I desired was not on offer and my meat filled misery was compounded further when I was told that they hadn’t made any of their  wonderful Chicken & Haggis offerings, something that I am pretty sure disappointed every single member of the Bellsdale Park crowd. Last week I went to Airdrie to take in my first ever Women’s Champions League between FC Union Nove Zamsky of Slovakia and WFC Kharkiv of Ukraine. It was a freebie on a Monday afternoon so I went with my pie expectations set more to hope than expectation although it was still a shame that they weren’t able to furnish my mush with a pie especially considering a wind was blowing that made it feel more like Lapland than Lanarkshire.

But have no fear as here we have Pie 73, The Arthurlie Steak Pie, so without much further ado, because let’s be honest it’s been two weeks, let’s rate some pie!

THE SURROUNDINGS

Where: Dunterlie Park, Arthurlie v Pollok, Sectional League Cup Section 5. Entry: £5

That slope is not an optical illusion it really does exist
That slope is not an optical illusion it really does exist

Price: Priced at £1.50 this was a fairly priced offering falling well below the average of £2 found in senior Scottish football last season for luxury pastries.

Presentation: It was naked! Well not naked it had its roasting hot tin foil underwear on caressing the pastry skin of this meat filled morsel. What I mean by naked is that there was no napkin, no medium-sized wafer of tissued comfort, no piece of kitchen roll or tiny square of white paper to dab my lips with and mop my brow, nothing! Now using my years of pie eating experience I think there was a napkin shortage as there were definitely a small mound present behind Dunterlie’s pie counter but they seemed to be getting dished out to the select few. Maybe I should have made my presence known as Chief-Pie-Officer of Meat Filled Pastries but really should I have had to? Anyway with the lack of a napkin and the aforementioned roasting hot tin foil sleeve in hand I carried out a spot of impromptu juggling before taking my first bite.

THE PIE

NAE NAPKIN!
NAE NAPKIN!

Meatiness: Being a steak pie this had to be nothing less than luxurious and I think it made a fairly good fist of it. The meat inside was tender and was chunked into a variety of different sizes, some that slipped straight down the throat and some that required a good chew. There was no hint of pepper or anything out of the ordinary flavour wise but that didn’t stop it from being well seasoned and tasty. There was a lot of gravy in this pie, something I am a big fan of, but something I would have been an even bigger fan of if I had had a napkin. You see as I took a bite, not knowing the size of the steak my teeth had munched down on, bits of meat fell out of there pastry cave and into the shiny silver lagoon below. This resulted in a lot of finger picking and due to a lack of napkin a lot of finger licking. Thankfully this pie was consumed prior to kick off otherwise I almost certainly would have missed something. It’s not really a complaint to be fair as I’m forever eating things with my fingers that I shouldn’t, roast dinners, curries, soup (OK not soup) but when I do I always make sure I have something to wipe my greasy paws on after I finish, it would have been good to have a napkin with this pie as tasty as it was.

Pastry: A puff pastry top with well fired sides. The top was just cooked enough to provide crispness whilst also allowing the soft under layers to mix with the gravy. The sides were well baked at the top and bottom but seemed a little doughy in the middle although due to its crispness I was able to employ the break-off and scoop technique by breaking off part of the crust to use as an edible spoon to scoop up the meat and gravy residue. This pastry had a function far beyond tantalising the taste buds.

Overall: A tasty steak pie, but woe betide the good folk of Barrhead if they run out of napkins again.

Gravy Factor: Messy Gravy. More pastry spoon than silver spoon.

The next helping of pie will be from an as yet undetermined location so keep your eye out by following me @MFPTasty.

However, until next time, go forth and eat pie!

Pie 72: The Blantyre Victoria Pie

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Have you ever tried to eat a pie in 28 degree heat? Yeah me neither, until now that is.

For the unaware amongst you a heat wave hit the west coast of Scotland that left many reaching for the Factor 50 and as the Commonwealth Games rolled into town I had enough time to nip to Castle Park, home of Blantyre Victoria, for a pre-season friendly before getting home just in time to see a bunch of dancing teacakes look on in horror as SuBo fluffed her lines.

It could have been worse though, for all we know wee Susie could have looked out at the psychedelic nonsense going on before her and thought she had died and gone to Tunnock’s heaven, diving head first into an unsuspecting volunteer trying to first tear the wrapper off the marshmallowy behemoth before consuming it whole. This of course leads to the all important decision of whether or not to lay out the empty foil flat on the ground or to roll it up into a tiny ball before flicking it into the distance in no particular direction. The poor lassie.

Sorry, went off on a tangent there. The point I was aiming when I started out here was that a roasting hot day is not ideal pie eating conditions, but as always I found a way to bring a new pie review to you.

So after finding a shady spot to cool myself down, let’s rate some pie!

THE SURROUNDINGS

Where: Castle Park, Blantyre Victoria v Pollok, Pre-Season Friendly. Entry: £3. Programme: None.

Storming the Castle Park walls to get some pie!
Storming the Castle Park walls to get some pie!

Price: There was no menu adorning the pie stall window, and in haste to get out the sun I forgot to ask how much I had to part with for my pastry. However using some simple algebra deducting the price of multiple cans of fizzy pop from the pie purchases of those around me I can confirm this pie can be yours for a solitary British pound. Bargain!

Presentation: It was white. It was medium-sized. It was a napkin. And that’s all I have to say about that.

THE PIE

Stick a flake in it and call it Pi-ce Cream!
Stick a flake in it and call it Pi-ce Cream!

Meatiness: This pie was perfectly pleasant. Nothing outstanding but a tasty meaty treat nonetheless. The meat was relatively well packed although did fall apart a little the more I bit into it. It was moist without being greasy and although the peppery linger didn’t last long on the palate it was still present after I’d finished. It was the kind of pie that is hard to get really enthused about but at the same time leaves you with nothing bad to say either.

Brown Sauce: That’s right we have a new section folks. It’s something I have toyed with in the past but my early season experiences have shown that the sauce itself is a stand alone feature of any pie whether it be good or bad. So how was the brown sauce at Castle Park? In a word: tangy, adding a sparkle of flavour that this pie was maybe slightly lacking. However be careful as too much and you could end up looking like your sucking an invisible milkshake through an equally invisible straw. It provided some added lubrication with a distinct tart tang.

Pastry: The pastry was soft and crumbly, the edges weren’t particularly crisp so there was no brown sauce dunking on this pie but it did mean that if you were in a rush you could eat this pie in a flash. This pastry would be a favourite with the pie eating sprinters but may disappoint those who are in it for the long haul.

Overall: New section about Brown Sauce aside this was a pretty standard pie, but for a pound you can’t really grumble.

Gravy Factor: Bog Standard Bisto.

All things going well my next review will be from Beith, home of one of the best pies of last season the luxury Chicken and Haggis Pie and one of the worst the Scotch Pie. Hopefully the Steak Pie on offer is closer to the former as opposed to the latter. In other news I will be the Scottish correspondent for The Football Pink this season, a link to which can be found on the left hand side of the page, starting with an SPL review that I plan to get done this week. Give the site a visit and order a copy should you get the chance.

However until next time, go forth and eat pie!