Meatfree Pastries

Pie 192: The Benburb Macaroni Pie

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Hello my little pastries and welcome to the latest review as we return to the junior ranks and New Tinto Park, home of west region stalwarts Benburb.

In the last week the winner of the 2020 Scotch Pie World Championship Awards was announced with James Pirie & Son from Newtyle claiming the overall Scotch Pie crown for the second time in three years.

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In the football pie category the gold, silver and bronze categories were filled with the usual mix of scotch and steak pie offerings but it was the Diamond winner that caused some waves with the Fish Pie from Fraserburgh FC claiming the overall crown. Social media reaction has been mixed, from disbelief that a fish pie can be the best that Scottish football has to offer to enthusiasm that something different has done the business in 2020. I know a few people who have marked a trip to the Broch in their calendar as a result of the outcome.

Personally, pie-versity can only be a good thing and if the pie is to remain the matchday treat of choice then calling on the produce of your locale to expand your range seems a sensible way to account for ever evolving punter tastes. A full list of winners from the awards can be found here.

One of these varieties, particularly traditional to Scotland, is the macaroni pie and it is one of these that now fall under the pie-croscope. So without much further ado, let’s rate some pie!

Where: New Tinto Park, Benburb 1-1 Pollok, West Region Premiership

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Price: £1.50. A pleasantly priced pastry for perfect purchasing.

Presentation: The pie was housed in a silver tin foil case with a large white napkin underneath. Ideal.

Pasta & Chessiness: I suspect I’ve reviewed this pie recently in another guise, more on that later, but putting that aside overall this was a tasty effort. There was a strong cheese flavour throughout and the texture of past and sauce was spot on. Loose enough to create a little ooze but viscous enough for you to have ample time to catch a drip as it slowly makes it’s way to the terrace below. The top was well baked meaning that the cheese remained nice and stringy with the colour being a darker hue than the goodness inside.

Pastry: Perhaps a little soft on the bottom but nice and golden on the side walls and top, although one side appeared slightly better baked than the other. Did the job of holding the ample filling.

Brown Sauce: A swirl of ketchup to bring back memories of school day tea times at home.

Overall: A well baked melange of cheese and pasta. Lovely stuff.

Gravy Factor: It went down bechem-well.

This was lovely and an improvement on Pie 188: The Rossvale Macaroni Pie had a few weeks previous at the same venue. The difference, I think, being the length of time that the pie was left in the oven and it is why, for me, that until they do matchday testing on the football category at the World Championships the winner will always have a wee asterisk against their name. Football fans don’t get the pie straight from source, but from kiosks and pie huts across the land and whilst this might seem a minor gripe to some it is one that is never far from my mind.

Next up we travel just a few hundred metres down Edminston Drive to Ibrox as Rangers hosted Stranraer in the Scottish Cup 4th Round as I once again tackle, with much trepidation, their latest pie of the month offering. However until next time, go forth and eat pie!

Chris Marshall, is a BJTC accredited Radio Journalist with an honours degree in Communications & Mass Media from Glasgow Caledonian University. Editor of Leading the Line, A Scottish Women’s Football writer and a contributor to various football websites, podcasts and publications. A perennial ‘Scottish Sporting Optimist’ and part-time Madrileno with a passion for food and football that has manifest itself in the wonder that is Meat Filled Pastries.

 

The 2019 Meaties: The Meat Filled Pastries Awards

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Happy New Year! I wish you all a happy and adventure filled 2020. It’s the 1st of January 2020 and whilst this day signifies the start of a new decade for those that recognise that to be the case it also, more importantly, signifies the day that we find out the winners of the 2019 Meat Filled Pastries Awards, now dubbed The Meaties!

There are five categories this year, with the addition of a Meat Free Pastry Award as well as an award for Outstanding Achievement in the field of Matchday Pastries, given to a pie that year on year continues to deliver recognising the pastries that I can’t help but go back for.

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As always I preface these awards by saying that these are the opinions of Meat Filled Pastries and thus subjective and if I haven’t eaten it, then I can’t give it an award. The awards are given to those pies reviews reviewed for the first time in 2019 and if you’re thinking of one that you feel is better then get in touch and I’ll see what I can do for 2020.

For now though, let’s get straight into dishing out some pie-gh fives!

Best Non – Pie Pastry 2019: Pie 161: The Glenafton Athletic Sausage Roll

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In what was a fairly disappointing category this year it is perhaps fitting that a sausage roll that I suspect was thrown together at short notice by those who supply hot goods to Loch Park has risen to the top of the miscellaneous meat filled marvel pile. A generous wrap of golden pastry snuggled around a slab of well seasoned Lorne sausage. It was huge, it was good value and after much perusing of my year in pie it was the only candidate to win this first award.

I find myself wondering as I write whether or not this is a pastry you can even buy in the here and now.

Best Meat Free Pastry 2019: Pie 184: The Irvine Meadow XI Macaroni Pie

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A squat little pie that had a strong cheesy kick. Not only was the sauce delicious but the texture of the pasta was exactly what you would want from a macaroni pie, toothsome and intact meaning that with each bite you got a little pop as the air rushed through. The thing that made this pie stand out over the others was the moreishness to the bite, if the kiosk under the stand at Meadow Park hadn’t been the other side of the ground from where I was situated I may have gone and got another that day.

Honourable Mention

Pie 180: The SWNT Macaroni Pie (c/o Hibernian FC) – A well constructed and generous macaroni based pastry.

Best Luxury Pie 2019: Pie 177: The St. Johnstone Steak & Chorizo Pie

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There was a lot of agonising over this one in what was an exceptionally strong and far reaching category in 2019. Eventually it came down to which first bite I remembered with the most clarity, the taste that still lingers in my mind and the review that seemed the most gushing in praise of the time, and so with those criterion in mind St. Johnstone are awarded the 2019 Best Luxury Pie Award. The gravy was luscious, the steak tore tenderly as I ate with an undertone of paprika provided by chorizo which itself added another texture. The pastry was golden and that day I also got an empire biscuit too. A worthy winner.

Honourable Mentions (There’s a Few)

Pie 182: The Forres Thistle Steak Pie – A huge pie packed with lots of steak and tasty gravy.

Pie 166: The Bohemian FC Chilli & Chorizo Pie – The first ever international entry into the Meat Filled Pastries Hall of Fame. The Irish side’s Chilli & Chorizo behemoth served with mash, peas and gravy was a rare pie treat from the League of Ireland.

Pie 173: The Linlithgow Rose Curry Pie – The finest curry pie to grace these pages, delicately spiced with chicken present in every bite.

Pie 185: The Port Glasgow Steak Pie – Whether you decide to use the wooden fork provided or not this generously proportioned steak pie has lots to love with a flaky golden top and layers of steak and gravy housed within.

Pie 165: The Clydebank Maryhill Breakfast Pie  Initially brought to my attention during the Bankies tenure at Lochburn Park if this award was to be dished out for concept alone it would be hard not to give it to this offering based in Glasgow’s West End. It might not have won this year but it is still a tremendous match day bite.

Best Scotch Pie 2019: Pie 171: The Kello Rovers Pie

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They say that controversy creates cash and for some this choice will prove to be somewhat controversial but for me in 2019 no scotch pie had me grabbing for more quite like this savoury little number from one of junior football’s most southerly outposts. Demolished in just a few bites this may not be a pie that fits into the most lauded of aesthetics with it’s misshapen casing and puddle of grease but it truly was a taste sensation.

Honourable Mentions

Pie 187: The Linlithgow Rose CFC Pie (c/o Linlithgow Rose) – Gentle with pepper and well textured, part of the excellent trio of pie options available at Prestonfield.

Pie 189: The Whittletts Victoria Pie – Packing a peppery punch this pie was well baked with a tasty filling and well complimented by a dod of Daddies Brown Sauce.

2019 Outstanding Acheivement in the field of Matchday Pastries: Pie 29: The Beith Chicken & Haggis Pie

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First reviewed five years ago now, there is no pie I look forward to more on a Pollok away day than the Beith Chicken & Haggis Pie. Chunks of chicken breast mixed with peppery haggis in a creamy well seasoned white sauce. The golden pastry egg washed and crimped on top lovingly finished with a piped swirl of mashed potato. Its year on year consistency making it a worthy winner of the first Outstanding Achievement Award.

So that’s it, the 2019 Meaties are over. What do you think? Do you disagree with any of the choices made? Where should I go next? What have been your pie-lights of 2019?

2020 will start as 2019 ended with a review from Whitletts Victoria as I look to close in on Pie 200 by taking on their Onion Pie, however until next time, go forth and have a smashing year as you maybe eat a pie or two!

Chris Marshall, is a BJTC accredited Radio Journalist with an honours degree in Communications & Mass Media from Glasgow Caledonian University. Editor of Leading the Line, A Scottish Women’s Football writer and a contributor to various football websites, podcasts and publications. A perennial ‘Scottish Sporting Optimist’ and part-time Madrileno with a passion for food and football that has manifest itself in the wonder that is Meat Filled Pastries.

Pie 188: The Rossvale Macaroni Pie

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Hello and welcome to the latest edition of Meat Macaroni Filled Pastries as we head to Glasgow’s southside for a piece of pasta pastry at New Tinto Park, current home of West Region Premiership side, Rossvale.

We’ve already reached that time of the season where the fixture list has taken a battering with ice, wind and rain all meaning that I have had to deviate from my usual match day routines at, or via Newlandsfield, and look for my football fix elsewhere. These deviations do however mean that I can go in search of new pastries, something I was able to do as the Vale took on Auchinleck Talbot in the Scottish Junior Cup with a bumper crowd in attendance given that it was one of only three fixtures across the grade to beat the weather on an icy late November afternoon.

Before we get to this latest pastry I need to give a wee plug to a podcast I appeared on whilst taking my now annual trip to Madrid. I spoke on Episode 5 of The Team on Tour – Real Football Stories pod about Scottish women’s football and of course pies and Roddy, your host, has done a fine job curating a wide range of guests for his debut podcast series so why not go have a listen and give him a follow.

Before I headed to Spain though I had time for one more Scottish match day bite and so without much further ado, let’s rate some pie!

Where: New Tinto Park, Rossvale 1-2 Auchinleck Talbot, Scottish Junior Cup 4th Round

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Price: £1.50. When I started this site, seven years ago, £1 was very much the base to work from when pricing up your pastry however for this season I think it’s fair to say that £1.50 is the new standard of value in the Scottish Junior game.

Presentation: A large white napkin provided the layer required to keep the burn of the fresh-from-the-oven tin foil casing at bay. The foil itself a not commonly seen presence on the Scottish non-league pie scene.

Pasta & Cheesiness: This pastry had a nice cheesy ooze when squeezing it between your thumb and forefinger with the cheese flavour prominent enough throughout. The top was perhaps a little overdone adding a bitter note to the bite but at the same time there is some joy to be had from the crunch of a crispy grate of cheddar. Whilst the ooze was there the texture of the macaroni curls was lost a little meaning that the odd bite was a little samey.

Pastry: Just about on the right side of golden brown, the base and sides held well and were very crisp. Perhaps a little misshapen from a perfect round but did the job required.

Brown Sauce: As has been covered on many a previous review, it’s a nostalgia heavy blob of ketchup that goes on my macaroni pie, a sweet complement to the salty filling.

Overall: Good cheese flavour but perhaps a little off in terms of texture.

Gravy Factor: A decent wee mouthful of macaroni.

I have no idea when Pie 200 will come, but it is certainly starting to feel like it’s not far away. The numbers will be boosted in the next couple of weeks by not just one, but two pie reviews from Whitletts Victoria on what was a minging day at Dam Park. However until next time, go forth and eat pie!

Chris Marshall, is a BJTC accredited Radio Journalist with an honours degree in Communications & Mass Media from Glasgow Caledonian University. Editor of Leading the Line, A Scottish Women’s Football writer and a contributor to various football websites, podcasts and publications. A perennial ‘Scottish Sporting Optimist’ and part-time Madrileno with a passion for food and football that has manifest itself in the wonder that is Meat Filled Pastries.

Pie 184: The Irvine Meadow XI Macaroni Pie

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It’s another wonderful day to read about pie, and it’s the return of a personal favourite of mine in the form of the Macaroni Pie, this time from the West Region Juniors as Irvine Meadow took on Pollok in a top of the table Premiership clash.

Medda’ Park, or Meadow Park if you are a believer in the use of renounced pronunciation is one of the few venues in the West to have a seated stand and it is perhaps for money the most aesthetically pleasing, with it’s red brick base and the stylised writing on the near side wall advertising the presence of the Medda Lounge. They have also now installed a few more areas of cover around the ground and with the hot topic of how the juniors will eventually slide their way into the pyramid an ever present, spurred on further by the recent Scottish Cup exploits of former junior sides Penicuik Athletic and Broxburn Athletic, Meadow Park certainly has the feel of a ground gearing itself up for the bigger challenges to come.

They also have a pretty wide ranging, if a little short stocked on the day of my visit, pie hut and having reviewed the steak and scotch pies on offer many moons ago, when this site was still nothing more than an over elaborate bet, I was pleased to see a macaroni pie for me to feast my eyes upon.

So without much further ado, let’s rate some pie!

Where: Meadow Park, Irvine Meadow 3-3 Pollok, West Region Premiership

Price: £1.50. A fair price for a non-league pastry.

Presentation: There was an interesting presentational differential on show at Meadow Park. If you got a steak pie you were afforded a plate to go along with your large white napkin, but for a macaroni offering the napkin alone was deemed to suffice, something which I probably agree with.

CheesyPastainess: This was very tasty. A squat little pie but was filled well enough with a macaroni mix that was heavy on the cheese and was well seasoned throughout. There could be an argument made to say that it was a little salty however I think that savoury tinge helped to add a moreishness to the bite. The integrity of the macaroni held up well and overall I would have quite happily smashed into this on a plate without the pastry surround.

Pastry: Not that there was anything wrong with the pastry. It was baked and held everything together amicably. The deep lip at the top suggested that maybe the pastry could have been filled a little more however to have done that may have compromised the integrity of the pie as a whole.

Brown Sauce: it’s a nostalgia dab for me once against so a squirt of Heinz Tomato Ketchup added a little sweetness to this savoury bite.

Overall: Good macaroni cheese inside a well baked pastry shell.

Gravy Factor: This pastry ranked very bechem-well indeed. (That pun is honking!)

This was a lovely mid-afternoon snack and once again show off the merits of a well made macaroni pie. Next up there will be a double dunt from Parklea, as Port Glasgow took on Greenock in the Inverclyde Derby underneath the Friday night lights.

However until next time, go forth and eat pie!

Chris Marshall, is a BJTC accredited Radio Journalist with an honours degree in Communications & Mass Media from Glasgow Caledonian University. Editor of Leading the Line, A Scottish Women’s Football writer and a contributor to various football websites, podcasts and publications. A perennial ‘Scottish Sporting Optimist’ and part-time Madrileno with a passion for food and football that has manifest itself in the wonder that is Meat Filled Pastries.

 

 

 

Pie 180: The SWNT Macaroni Pie (c/o Hibernian)

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There is a very Hibs heavy theme to this most recent tranche of reviews. It’s not deliberate, but with the women’s side being involved in the league, Scottish Cup and Women’s Champions League and the national side playing their most recent Euro 2021 qualifier at Easter Road, the fates have seen the north of Edinburgh become a hub of meat filled musings.

I’ve mentioned before that I now cover Scottish women’s football fairly extensively and in the last couple of weeks I have made the decision to move Meat Filled Pastries sister site, Leading the Line, to exclusively cover women’s football, particularly in Scotland. If you’re into that kind of thing I would highly recommend giving it a follow and of course subscribing to the podcast too.

Catering is still an evolving concept in Scottish women’s football but at Easter Road it has long been a staple so without much further ado, let’s rate some pie!

Where: Easter Road, Scotland 8-0 Cyprus, Euro 2021 Qualifying Group E

Price: After driving from west to east through the torrential rush hour rain and, having forgot that dinner is a very important part of the day, I share no shame in claiming this pie for free as part of my role covering the game.

Presentation: Presented in the press lounge in a couple of big silver catering trays with on-brand large green napkins for moping any residuals from the corner of my mouth.

CheesyPastainess: Pretty tasty. It was generously filled with the cheese sauce wrapped around well cooked macaroni curls. There was no flouriness to the taste or the texture and the additional sprinkling of cheddar across the top had bubbled to just the right level, the best side of crispy to ensure the colour had changed but there was no burning on top or the cheese all coming off in one bite.

Pastry: Unlike a lot of macaroni pies the pastry here had a good golden tinge to it. There was a little bit of boil out which can be expected with cheese such a key component of the filling. It held the filling admirably and could be relied on in the tilt, a hand position that needs to be taken with the unpredictable macaroni potentially ready to tumble at any moment.

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Brown Sauce: As always with a macaroni pie I mix things up on the condiment front with a dod of tomato ketchup straight from a bottle of Heinz.

Overall: Pastry that held well encasing a nicely flavoured and generously portioned macaroni filling.

Gravy Factor: There’s a touch upon my lips, and that touch is a tasty macaroni pie.

I did say at the start that Hibernian would be a recurring theme and that theme continues as next up is a Mince Pie (not a Scotch pie) from Ainslie Park as Hibs Ladies hosted Hamilton Academical in the Quarter Finals of the Scottish Women’s Cup. As well as another new pie you can also look forward to me shoehorning some more Proclaimers based puns into this piping hot content. However until then, go forth and eat pie!

Chris Marshall, is a BJTC accredited Radio Journalist with an honours degree in Communications & Mass Media from Glasgow Caledonian University. Editor of Leading the Line, A member of the Scottish Women’s Football Media Team and a contributor to various football websites, podcasts and publications. A perennial ‘Scottish Sporting Optimist’ and part-time Madrileno with a passion for food and football that has manifest itself in the wonder that is Meat Filled Pastries.

 

 

 

Pie 143: The Rangers “Bacon Mac & Cheese” Pie

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That’s right Bacon Mac & Cheese! I was excited, but more on that later. Welcome to Meat Filled Pastries and another instalment in this quest to search out the tastiest match day treats around. Over time I have learned to balance the consumption of pies – which aren’t actually that bad for you in moderation – with regular exercise to ensure the boy who eats pies doesn’t turn into one. I thought I was doing alright until a small child in the supermarket last week turned around to his mum, pointed at me and shouted, “Look Mummy, a fat man!”. Cheers kid…

In all seriousness though over the last couple of years I’ve ran some proper distances, completed a Kiltwalk, climbed a thing or two and generally tried to make sure that I live a little bit healthier. Luckily I have some pals who were that way inclined already which helped so when my mate suggested helping somebody out who was doing the same thing – with the added incentive of helping them to raise money for a good cause – I was more than up for joining in.

I’ll let Tony’s story speak for itself (click here) but at 62 he has set himself the target of Walking the West Highland Way whilst also climbing an Everest worth’s of munros as he goes all in aid of the Glasgow Children’s Hospital. The thing is he needs help, which is where me and my mates have come in and so next week we’ll be climbing Schiehallion along with Tony as he continues his preparations. It’s never easy to set yourself a goal like that, especially when you decide to do it on your own, so if you think you can help Tony out with either a donation or by giving him somebody to walk with then why not give him a shout. I’m sure he’d appreciate it.

You know what else I’m sure Tony would appreciate at the end of a climb? A pie. But would he fancy this Bacon Mac & Cheese offering from Ibrox? Well let’s find out?

Without much further ado, let’s rate some pie!

Where: Ibrox, Rangers 2-0 St. Mirren, Scottish Premiership

Price: At £3.50 this was the most expensive pie on the menu, and to date, the most expensive match day pie I have ever eaten in Scotland. This was part of their “Pie of the Month” range where each month (unsurprisingly) a new and exotic pastry gets added to the menu. It’s an utter gimmick, and why it justified the price hike mystified me but it was a pie I hadn’t had before and so of course I dug deep and paid for this pastry.

Presentation: This pie was presented on a large white napkin and the pastry itself was contained in a fairly large circular tin foil case that’s diameter narrowed a little towards the bottom.

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Meatiness: Now anybody who has read a Macaroni Pie review before will know that meatiness is usually replaced by the far more convoluted CheesyPastainess but given that this was a BACON Mac & Cheese Pie I’m comfortable that normal rules should apply. What I was not comfortable with though was how bereft of bacon this pastry was. Yes there was the odd, and I mean odd, fleck of pinky-brown in amongst the cheese sauce but if you’re charging me £3.50 for a motherporkin’ pie you better have a higher quantity of bacon than what was on offer here. The meat that was there did provide a subtle smoky taste to proceedings and the macaroni cheese itself was fairly decent boosted by the rather unattractive looking layer of not quite fully melted cheese on top but to call this a BACON Mac & Cheese Pie and have such of a paucity of swine within is near criminal. See picture below.

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Pastry: Along with the part melted cheesy top the pastry also made for a fairly unappetising sight. It was near white in colour and didn’t wrap itself snugly round the filling like a good case should but to its credit it was just about cooked enough to support the filling even if it’s contribution to the overall taste of this pie was negligible.

Brown Sauce: No brown sauce here as technically this is a luxury pie but after a couple of bites to get a pure taste from it I added a squirt of tomato ketchup for an added spike of flavour.

Overall: I’ve gone in hard on this because it was three blinking fifty but if it was the price of a normal macaroni pie without the audacity to call it a Bacon Mac & Cheese Pie then it would be just about passable, not good, passable.

Gravy Factor: Not Bacon Gravy. Bacon Scented Gravy.

The search for a big ground pie that justifies it’s price tag in Scotland continues. I haven’t got anything in plan as I enter the sticky part of the season where the mid-week fixtures start to dry up and so we may be in for a spell of pie differentiation but what that actually looks like we’ll have to wait and see.

However until next time, go forth and eat pie!

Chris Marshall, is a BJTC accredited Radio Journalist with an honours degree in Communications & Mass Media from Glasgow Caledonian University. He has contributed to prominent football sites including Pie & Bovril, The Terrace Podcast, The Football Pink as well as featuring in The Scotsman, STV and a number of other media outlets. He currently acts as Heart & Hand Podcast’s resident Iberian football expert. A perennial ‘Scottish Sporting Optimist’ and part-time Madrileno with a passion for food and football that has manifest itself in the wonder that is Meat Filled Pastries.

Pie 126: The Queens Park “Cheese & Onion” Pie

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Welcome back to another edition of Meat Filled Pastries where we’re always on the hunt for some meaty thrills whilst holding back on the spills because a spilled pie leads to a sad guy.

Now unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last couple of weeks we have seen the dawning of a new year and with it the thoughts of new hopes and expectations that it will bring. I’m not one for the phrase “New Year, New Me” philosophy that blights social media for those first few days of January but I do see it as an opportunity to set some goals and try new things.

It’s also the time of year where people declare their body a temple and health boards and charities across the country champion well-meaning campaigns such as “Dry January” and the awfully named “Veganuary”. Now this may perhaps come as a surprise to some but I am quite happy to eat a meal without meat, in fact when you consume the volume of Meat Filled Pastries that I do it is somewhat of a treat. However with that being said I cannot get on board with replacements such as “Facon” and “Tofurky”. I’ve got in to many a debate about this with non-meat eating friends before but for me if you don’t want to eat meat why are you then replacing it with things that look and (supposedly) taste like the things they don’t have any interest in eating? It’s an endless riddle to me. Most vegetarians are sound and rational people. Most vegans however, are in my experience (bar the odd exception), raving lunatics who must burn all of the 150 calories they consume a day telling the world that if you eat meat you deserve to burn in the depths of hell for having the audacity to like the occasional chicken nugget. It’s not my fault you’ve chosen a life of cauliflower “steaks”. I accept that as your life decision so don’t come preaching, and I mean preaching, to me because I don’t agree. All of which, kind of ironically, brings us to today’s pie review; The Queen’s Park Cheese & Onion Pie, a veggie (but not vegan) friendly option at the much debated home of Scottish football Hampden Park.

So without much further ado, let’s rate some pie!

Where: Hampden Park, Queen’s Park 2-2 Albion Rovers, Scottish League One

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Price: A whooping £2.70. For a pie with zero meat in it. Now I’m making an assumption here but I’m guessing that pie prices for Queen’s Park games are dictated by someone other than the club as history has shown that a pie at a Scotland game will cost you exactly the same for a (supposedly) much higher level of football. I’m not even going to begin to claim to the understand the economics behind Queen’s Park playing at Hampden, and for what it’s worth I think they should continue to do so, but £2.70 for a pie definitely needs looking at when compared with their League One peers.

Presentation: The tin foil case of potential doom accompanied by a large white napkin for mopping up at this point the unknown treasures within.

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Meatiness Cheesy-Onionyness: Sigh. This was fairly rubbish. Always a disappointment in the pie game. Inside this pie was a mushy yellow and white paste that I presume was meant to be rich and cheesy with a strong onion linger in the background oozing as you pull away each bite and where you try to stop a small string of cheese getting stuck in your beard. Positively dreamy.

What actually happened was the appearance of a bland blob that tasted more of uncooked roux and a hint of cheese tainted with a pepper kick so offensively strong that the acrid burn stabbing at the back of my throat resulted me going and having to get a second beverage. On review fairly rubbish seems far too genteel. This was looking to be a bit of a disaster and then there was the pastry…

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Pastry: I have often talked about the pit falls of the tin foil case. A Sophie’s Choice of a decision for butchers and bakers between the appearance of uniformity and the risk of the pie sticking to the bottom of the case. It’s a risk that often backfires and in this instance the result was no different as half my pie stayed glued to the bottom as I lifted it to take my first bite. The pastry on the top edges was golden and crisp but at the base was as near to raw as I think I’ve ever had at a football game. So raw infact, that I could actually leave a thumbprint in the bottom with the mixture of filling and pastry creating a texture that I’m sure could be used as a Play-doh substitute at a nursery. I can’t think of the last time I thought, “I might not even finish this” but it was really that poor. I am however a trooper, and so I powered through like any good pie muncher should.

Brown Sauce: Regular readers will know that a luxury pie (i.e. a non-Scotch Pie) does not get dotted with some of the brown stuff but given how consumption had gone to this point I thought I’d grab a sachet to try and save it. Sadly, even this most wondrous of condiments couldn’t prevent me from experiencing culinary doom.

Overall: This was not very good. The filling was bland but yet somehow offensive and the pastry was near raw and stuck to the case. If you go to a Queen’s Park game I’d avoid this and stick to your traditional Scotch or Steak. If you’re feeling fancy wire into a Chicken Curry but if you’re a vegetarian I’d just settle for a Mars Bar.

Gravy Factor: Literally better off eating a spoonful of unwatered Bisto.

Well that was disappointing. It’s often said it’s easier to criticise than praise but for me the purpose of this site is to champion the best pies around the grounds and beyond and so when I’m met with something bad it’s a chore to break it down. That said, if I’m not honest and go about proclaiming every pie as the greatest I’ve ever had then I lose all credapie-ility.

Next up is a first review from Clydebank, something I couldn’t quite believe when checking the archives before the game so hopeful we see a return to pie glory. But until next time, go forth and eat pie!

Chris Marshall, is a BJTC accredited Radio Journalist with an honours degree in Communications & Mass Media from Glasgow Caledonian University. He has contributed to prominent football sites including Pie & Bovril, The Terrace Podcast, The Football Pink and The FBA’s as well as featuring in The Scotsman, STV and a number of other media outlets. A perennial ‘Scottish Sporting Optimist’ with a passion for food that has manifest itself in the wonder that is Meat Filled Pastries.