Hi again! Did you think I’d forgot about these meat flavoured beauties? If you did, you’re probably of the macaroni pie quaffing variety and have no place here. I kid, obviously, as all pie’s are welcome here but let me rationalise why this pie blog has been a few extra days in the making. You see footballing pies have passed my lips on more than one occasion in the last week or so but a combination of work and a familiar looking fixture list meant that none of these pies have been new to the world of Meat Filled Pastries, finally on Sunday this changed.
So with the kind of abandon that will be outlawed at Qatar 2022 I headed to Glasgow’s west end for a new pie adventure. Lets Rate Some Pie!
Where: Lochburn Park (Home of Maryhill FC) Clydebank v Pollok, Euroscot Sectional League Cup Final
Price: £1.10, exactly half the price of the previously reviewed Hampden and Rangers Scotch Pies.
Presentation: Presented within a white napkin of sufficient size that a badger could snuggly hibernate in as the winter months draw closer without it’s wee toe sticking out the bottom. This thing was huge and for that I am always grateful.
Meatiness: A scotch pie rammed with muttony goodness from first bite to last in which the meat was incredibly well seasoned. The mince was coarse and importantly still had enough texture to give it a satisfying bite. I think the highest praise I can give this pie is the following antidote. So, after consuming said pie I needed to visit the little boys room (also known as a well drained concrete wall behind the main stand), after doing the required business I started heading back to where I was standing when I suddenly noticed that the peppery after taste was still very clearly present within my mouth. With that lingering taste this pie had now marked itself out as a top contender.
Pastry: The pastry was golden and cooked just to perfection, with a bite that required your teeth to break through but enough give that none of the mince inside was at risk of ending splatted on the concrete. The bake on the pastry was consistent and such was my satisfaction at my first one, I quickly purchased a second which again reached these same high standards of crispy perfection combining wonderfully again with the aforementioned meaty goodness.
Overall: This was a cracking pie, great texture and meaty flavour that managed to linger long after the last bite had been devoured. A pastry shell that managed to be both soft and crispy whilst the brown sauce provided was none other than HP, a cherry meatball on top of this pie flavoured cake.
Gravy Factor: The kind of gravy that you would make too much of deliberately so that after your dinner you could pour the remainder onto your plate and happily sook it all up with half a loaf of bread.
There is something that you should know before I continue this review:
I had drank a LOT of Tequila the previous evening.
Tequila is generally NOT conducive to wanting to feast on Meat Filled Pastries, however with that being said after a can of that well known Scottish elixir of life Irn Bru, I gathered myself and tucked right in. So without further ado, lets Rate Some Pie!
Where: Petershill Park, Petershill v Pollok, West Superleague Premier Division
Price: Now, got to be honest here. I was rather hungover folks and as such neglected to take a note of the individual price of my Meat Filled Pastry. However through the powers of deduction I can ascertain that as it was £4.80 for 2 Pies and 2 cans of juice, that the pie was at his cheapest £1.40 based on the fact a can of juice will be no more than £1 and to be honest those cans are usually less. Either way that is a pricey Junior pie. (UPDATE: Petershill have contacted me via Twitter and have kindly provided the price of the pie as £1.50.)
Presentation: The pie was presented in a half paper, half plastic bag, an unusual presentation technique for a pie and one that was not a success in this instance. For a start the paper was not enough to contain the pie’s heat, providing insufficient protection from the warmth that a napkin would, luckily they were on hand although were rather on the small side. Then we have the plastic, oh deary, deary me, the plastic. Helping to create what can only be described as a ‘sweaty’ pie, with a thin layer of grease wrapped all the way around the outside making the need for a napkin of greater substance even more paramount.
Meatiness: A Scotch Pie things were disappointing here as well. Somewhere there is a pie maker, in his hairnet and white coat, furiously grinding salt and pepper into an empty pie case because mine certainly was lacking the seasoning a good pie requires. Not even the saviour of many a poor pastry, Brown Sauce, could provide the flavour kick my heart desired.
Pastry: The pastry was ample, too ample for the meat that was provided. It was well browned but due to the way the pie was kept warm in the plastic and paper it took on the taste and crunch of something deep fried as opposed to lovingly baked in the oven. It like most of the rest of the pie left an unsatisfying layer of grease on your lips after every bite.
Overall: Look I want all pie’s to be meat filled delights, but I have to be honest and this is the first pie on my journey that didn’t hit the mark. It was never given a chance the moment it was left to steep under a heating lamp wrapped in plastic, whilst the filling was lacking in that meaty punch in the chops that every football fan is looking for.
Gravy Factor: Anaemic gravy, somebody used one scoop of the best Bisto they could get their hands on when 3 or 4 were required.
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Today is a very special day for followers of Meat Filled Pastries, as today you see the addition of the home favourite, the pie that is a direct result of 50% of my ‘scotch’ intake, The Pollok Pie. Now I will try my best to be objective here but you have to understand this pie has been passing my lips for over 20 years, there was a change in supplier about 5 years ago but honestly that only enhanced the experience. This is really the Pie that all other Pie’s will be judged against. The ‘Control’ Pie if you will.
With that all being said lets Rate Some Pie!
Where: Newlandsfield Park, Pollok v Auchinleck Talbot, West Superleague Premier Division
Price: £1.30, at the top end of prices within Junior Football for a pie, a 10p increase on the previous year.
Presentation: Your pie comes lovingly wrapped in a small white napkin, although it could do with being a bit bigger as an occasional stray spill tends to end up on the terrace as opposed to saved in the warm embrace of the napkin.
Meatiness: The pie is well filled although there is no gravy, relying solely on the juices of the meat inside to provide moisture, which it does sufficiently, There is a good amount of pepper within, not to provide heat but to knock it up a notch from being your average pie. The meat is well packed forming a small meaty block inside but once bitten it does fall apart without much fuss.
Pastry: Was fired well enough at the bottom so there was no danger of mince falling out the arse of the pie and the edges crispy enough to pick off but not so crispy that you couldn’t bite straight through. My only niggle is the top of the pie casing which was a little loose causing some ‘sauce on nose’ hilarity as you bite down.
Overall: The Control Pie, and a mighty fine one at that, not perfect but even through these rose tinted glasses a worthy effort.
Gravy Factor: The kind of pie Aunt Bessie would have after playing with her lady garden. Satisfying Gravy.
I should stress as we start on this Journey of Pie, I am not going to give you lots of instagrammed images of pies, pastry touched up with yellow food colouring or the cheery face of the person who has presented it to me. No, instead it will be a one bite expose of the pie in all its meaty glory.
In most cases the pie will have ‘broon’ sauce on it, as far as I am concerned this is how a pie should be.
With that out the way lets rate some pie!
Where: Adamslie Park, Home of Kirkintilloch Rob Roy JFC.
Price: £1. Bargain for a pie in today’s climate, especially considering the sprint from work to the game involved missing my dinner. Sad Times.
Presentation: Presented in a piece of kitchen paper your Granny would be proud of, no frills but plenty of flowery designs.
Meatiness: A Scotch Pie. It tasted of meat, which is a good start, there was however a lot of space to cram some more muttony goodness into and it was a tad on the dry side, ( It should be noted that this is where ‘broon’ sauce comes into its own.)
Pastry: The top edges were crispy without being teeth breaking, although the bake on the bottom was a little firm resulting in some minor spillage when biting all the way through.
Overall: A solid effort from The Rabs, nothing spectacular, but tasty enough.
Gravy Factor: Bog Standard Bisto