Football Pies

Pie 13: The Pollok Pie

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MonTheLokNow!
MonTheLokNow!

 

Today is a very special day for followers of Meat Filled Pastries, as today you see the addition of the home favourite, the pie that is a direct result of 50% of my ‘scotch’ intake, The Pollok Pie. Now I will try my best to be objective here but you have to understand this pie has been passing my lips for over 20 years, there was a change in supplier about 5 years ago but honestly that only enhanced the experience. This is really the Pie that all other Pie’s will be judged against. The ‘Control’ Pie if you will.

With that all being said lets Rate Some Pie!

Where: Newlandsfield Park, Pollok v Auchinleck Talbot, West Superleague Premier Division

Price: £1.30, at the top end of prices within Junior Football for a pie, a 10p increase on the previous year.

Presentation: Your pie comes lovingly wrapped in a small white napkin, although it could do with being a bit bigger as an occasional stray spill tends to end up on the terrace as opposed to saved in the warm embrace of the napkin.

Meatiness: The pie is well filled although there is no gravy, relying solely on the juices of the meat inside to provide moisture, which it does sufficiently, There is a good amount of pepper within, not to provide heat but to knock it up a notch from being your average pie. The meat is well packed forming a small meaty block inside but once bitten it does fall apart without much fuss.

Pastry: Was fired well enough at the bottom so there was no danger of mince falling out the arse of the pie and the edges crispy enough to pick off but not so crispy that you couldn’t bite straight through. My only niggle is the top of the pie casing which was a little loose causing some ‘sauce on nose’ hilarity as you bite down.

Overall: The Control Pie, and a mighty fine one at that, not perfect but even through these rose tinted glasses a worthy effort.

Gravy Factor: The kind of pie Aunt Bessie would have after playing with her lady garden. Satisfying Gravy.

 

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Pie 12: The Wembley Pie?

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We're The Famous Tartan Army and we came to Wembley!
We’re The Famous Tartan Army and we came to Wembley!

 

This is a Bonus Pie! Why a bonus pie I here you ask? Because this was a picture taken before the invention of ‘Meat Filled Pastries: A Tour of Pies’ and so therefore misses some of the key elements for a true ‘Gravy Factor’.

However with that being said, lets rate this pie!

Where: Wembley Stadium, England v Scotland 150th Anniversary of the FA

Price: Unknown, by this point both myself and my fellow TA soldier were heavily inebriated and I was not the purchaser of this particular pastry delicacy. The only comparison I have is that whilst Scotty was getting the pie’s in, I got the programmes, they were £6 a pop, more like a glossy magazine. Therefore this pie cost £6 actually it cost £12 as we had to share one because they had ran out, a cardinal sin at any football ground.

Presentation: As can be seen above I wasn’t able to get the ‘one bite expose’, however what can be seen already that this came in a long rectangular box that said ‘One Pie’ on it with handy finger guides in case you forget how to hold things I presume. Although it did keep it piping hot the creative genius who created said packaging forgot one vital, vital piece of information, ‘THAT’S NO’ A PIE’.

Meatiness: The best way to describe this is a Chicken Fajita Sausage Roll, with as much peppers and onions as there was chicken resulting in a meat content of about 50%.

Pastry: The Pastry was flaky, it was a good job the Marketing Graduate who designed the box did otherwise I feel the filling may have ended on the floor such was the floppy nature of the ‘pie’ (it’s still not a pie).

Overall: A spicy, tasty treat but NOT a Pie!

Gravy Factor: I am so confused that this was called a pie: As much gravy as a Sherry Trifle!

 

Bonus Note: Leading The Line: Scottish Football and the Rest of the Sporting World a blog not based solely on pies, I know a ridiculous idea, will be back to its regular best in the not to distant future. But until next time, MON THE PIES!

Pie 11: The Rob Roy Pie

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The wasps seemed keen.
The wasps seemed keen.

I should stress as we start on this Journey of Pie, I am not going to give you lots of instagrammed images of pies, pastry touched up with yellow food colouring or the cheery face of the person who has presented it to me. No, instead it will be a one bite expose of the pie in all its meaty glory.

In most cases the pie will have ‘broon’ sauce on it, as far as I am concerned this is how a pie should be.

With that out the way lets rate some pie!

Where: Adamslie Park, Home of Kirkintilloch Rob Roy JFC.

Price: £1. Bargain for a pie in today’s climate, especially considering the sprint from work to the game involved missing my dinner. Sad Times.

Presentation: Presented in a piece of kitchen paper your Granny would be proud of, no frills but plenty of flowery designs.

Meatiness: A Scotch Pie. It tasted of meat, which is a good start, there was however a lot of space to cram some more muttony goodness into and it was a tad on the dry side, ( It should be noted that this is where ‘broon’ sauce comes into its own.)

Pastry: The top edges were crispy without being teeth breaking, although the bake on the bottom was a little firm resulting in some minor spillage when biting all the way through.

Overall: A solid effort from The Rabs, nothing spectacular, but tasty enough.

Gravy Factor: Bog Standard Bisto