Hello and welcome to a slightly delayed jaunt to the land of meat filled mirth as we once again go into the breach with a pie in honour of our nation’s bard, Robert Burns, from the house that staunch built as Rangers took on Stranraer in Scottish Cup action.
Regular readers will know that I have had a tumultuous history with the “Pie of the Month” offerings of Ibrox visits past. The wonderful sounding Pie 147: Chicken & Chorizo Pie still haunts my weekly pie queue daydreams. A filling akin to an emptying of hot sick that somehow managed to turn the usual stampede of flavour that chorizo brings into a quivering new born foal. The lid coming clean off in what I can only assume was a last desperate attempt at freedom by the chicken that had been so cruelly sacrificed as part of this pastries misconception.
It’s still not the worst pie I have encountered of my now many years of travels though, that accolade belongs to Pie 126: The Queen’s Park Cheese & Onion Pie. A pie that I described at the time as both “bland and yet somehow offensive” with pastry saw raw that even the most discerning of play-doh eating toddlers would turn their nose up at smashing it into their face.
So yes, as I ordered my latest big venue luxury offering, I did so with much trepidation. Was that trepidation merited? Well without much further ado, let’s rate some pie!
Where: Ibrox Stadium, Rangers 2-0 Stranraer, Scottish Cup 4th Round
Price: £3.10. The first of what turned out to be a number of pleasant surprises, on an evening devoid of much on-field entertainment, this pastry came in a full 40p less than the last luxury offering sampled in Glasgow’s Southside. For a captive audience the pricing is still more than plenty but the four pound coins resting in my hand were released with just a little more ease than they had been before.
Presentation: It was a little thin but sufficient in size to keep your pastry safe in hand and the mouth clear of debris once you had taken, and hopefully savoured, your final bite. It’s tin foil housing a little loose and perhaps, from my reckoning at least, superfluous for the need.
Meatiness: There was no fuss here with no melange to speak of, just a healthy dollop of decently flavoured haggis. There was a kick spicy enough to set off a few pin pricks on the surface of the tongue but the texture was just a bit too tight, almost claggy in the mouth once you had ruminated on it for a second or two. Not unpleasant but not quite good enough to dub it as the very best version of what it could be.
Pastry: A touch pale. I wouldn’t want to leave this sitting unattended during one of those rarely seen scorching Scottish days for fear of it turning a shade of crimson that would make it appear to be inedible, but structurally it certainly held well enough. There was a slightly clumsy swirl of smooth if a little under seasoned mashed potato whilst the final flourish, a dab of neeps on top was crushed, one can only assume from transit, but the flavour and colour contrast between the two was a welcome addition.
Overall: A significant improvement on Pie of the Month offerings of light blue concessions past. It wasn’t perfect, the pastry needed some more colour, the haggis a little less manipulation into the casing and the veg an extra notch or two of seasoning but overall this was a handy little pie.
I’ve stripped back this review. For a while now there has been things that have felt convoluted and it’s sometimes easy to forget that when you are both editor and scribe that you can improve things along the way as much by subtraction as you can with addition.
The next review is yet to be confirmed, but it will be on its way, we’ve got 200 pies to eat. However, until next time, go forth and eat pie!
Chris Marshall, is a BJTC accredited Radio Journalist with an honours degree in Communications & Mass Media from Glasgow Caledonian University. Editor of Leading the Line, A Scottish Women’s Football writer and a contributor to various football websites, podcasts and publications. A perennial ‘Scottish Sporting Optimist’ and part-time Madrileno with a passion for food and football that has manifest itself in the wonder that is Meat Filled Pastries.