Pie 135: The Fauldhouse United Pie

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As promised the pie reviews are coming thick and fast with the first of two from the East in the form of this Scotch Pie review from Fauldhouse United. After Pollok’s game on Saturday was postponed due to some rather grim events in the Rutherglen area the preceeding evening a quick browse of the fixture list was required. With East Region junior football in just the teeny tiniest bit of turmoil I thought I’d take the opportunity to take in a fixture between two of the teams who have not made a move to leave the current junior set up.

Over the past few weeks there has been a lot of hyperbole around the phrase “there’s nothing quite like the juniors.” Events like the ones I encountered at Park View play in to that way of thinking.

The passing of a figure close to the club had brought his friends and family together under the main enclosure at Park View for a swig of Buckfast in his memory. The match itself was pre-faced by a minute’s silence and then a minutes applause. An act carried because “that’s how he wanted it, something a bit different.” Yes, it would be foolish to argue that Joe Punter at Ibrox, Pittodrie or Tynecastle would struggle to have arranged such a send off but to suggest that the same could not be achieved at Coldstream, Huntly or Dalbeattie seems just a little naive.

It’s a fascinating topic given the near radio silence by some of the biggest figures in the junior game, but I don’t want to get bogged down in the pros and cons of the Great Eastern Escape just now, that’s for another time, and another forum. No, for now, let’s focus on the positives and raise a glass to Fauldhouse and all the other clubs across the country, no matter what league they play in, who take their time to acknowledge their fans of the past, present and, judging by the children I saw running around in their tops at Park View, their future too.

So with that said, and without much further ado, let’s rate some pie!

Where: Park View, Fauldhouse United 0-4 Tayport, East Premier League


Price: £1.20, pretty much the pricing sweet spot for a junior pie.

Presentation: This pie came with a veritable blanket’s worth of paper towel. If you were so inclined you could turn your pie into a tiny trampolinist tossing your pastry gaily in the air performing all manner of twists, somersaults and flips.


Meatiness: I’ve always believed that honesty is the best policy when doing these reviews and if I’m being honest this pie was a little underwhelming. The filling seemed a little bit tight in its volume and although there was a pepper kick the linger for me was a little too brief. The texture was OK but it’s not one that has lived long in the memory. All in all, it was just kind of there.

Pastry: The pastry had a flat top to it without the presence of a hole and the positioning on the pastry was a bit higgledy piggledy. The pastry was sturdy with a slight bread like taste to it. Did it secure hold the filling within? Yes. Did it have a nice golden tinge to it? Yes. Did it blow me away? Not really.

Brown Sauce: HP. Name brand brown sauce always squeaks out an extra brownie point or two.

Overall: My expectation is that the pies at Park View are provided by one of their main sponsors Bells. My suspicion is that these are the same pies that go to supermarkets throughout the country. If financially this makes sense for the sustainable running of the club then I can get on board with it. However as a guy who has tried pies across the country, produced by places both big and small, this pie was a little short of the mark.

Gravy Factor: Meh.

Chris Marshall, is a BJTC accredited Radio Journalist with an honours degree in Communications & Mass Media from Glasgow Caledonian University. He has contributed to prominent football sites including Pie & Bovril, The Terrace Podcast, The Football Pink and The FBA’s as well as featuring in The Scotsman, STV and a number of other media outlets. A perennial ‘Scottish Sporting Optimist’ and part time Madrileno with a passion for food that has manifest itself in the wonder that is Meat Filled Pastries.

One thought on “Pie 135: The Fauldhouse United Pie

    […] be fair this isn’t always the case, here at Fauldhouse there are Bell’s advertisements everywhere, Rossvale have McGhee’s as a main sponsor, […]

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