Pie 98: The Irvine Victoria Pie

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What up pie fans!? It’s me! The self anointed prince of pie, here to spread another pastry review all over the world wide web. As the idea of writing a book continues to take shape I have been looking back over some of my past pastry conquests to see how easily I can knit all these component parts together.

I had already known that the reviews from this sites infant days were far less detailed than those I find myself scribing now but what I hadn’t considered was how the style of my writing has evolved, how the content has varied, and how Meat Filled Pastries has become more than just an ode to pies but a project that has taken me to places that a much younger me would be a little bit envious of. I mean, it’s not commentating on a Scottish victory in the World Cup Final but its a start and as life continues to show me you’ve got to take what you can get and run with it and as long as people want it I’ll continue to find new ways to spread the word of pie whilst being a champion for football’s little guys. You never know maybe one day that World Cup Final dream could become a reality.

So with that in mind, and without much further ado, let’s rate some pie!


Where: Victoria Park, Irvine Victoria 1-2 Pollok, West Superleague First Division

It's a Tommy The Tank!
It’s a Tommy The Tank!

Price: £1.20. The same price as the last offering from Cumbernauld United and about par for the course when it comes to junior pies as the end of the season draws near.

Presentation: Presented simply on a medium-sized white napkin, although two may have been more appropriate (more on that later).


Take Two Pies. Eat One. Then Take a Picture of the Other.
Take Two Pies. Eat One. Then Take a Picture of the Other.

Meatiness: This was a well seasoned pie although somewhat missing a peppery kick with the butcher (or baker) focusing more on bringing the most possible flavour out of the mutton within. I mentioned a few moments ago that this pie would have benefited from a second layer of napkining and this was in part due to it being quite greasy, not greasy enough to compare it to the waterfall that cascades from the Beith Pie, but enough for a drop or two to hit the floor below. It also seeped onto the napkin meaning that to wipe your face you had to use a napkin that was already rather greasy, thus replacing the grease that you had just removed from your face. It was a vicious cycle but one I persevered because ultimately it was a tasty pie, I think.

Pastry: The pastry was soft, which can be attributed to the grease around the sides but was rather well fired underneath. This in the end helped consumption as you could tip the pie away from you as the grease looked as it was destined to end up all over the place. Practically it helped but if Paul and Mary were to be presented with it you just know there would be a sigh or two.

Brown Sauce: As you know I adorn my pie with brown sauce, it’s habit. It’s what I’ve always done and on this occasion things were no different…however I couldn’t talk about condiments without making reference to the smorgasbord available at Victoria Park. There was, and I kid you not, the following:

  • HP Brown Sauce
  • Heinz Tomato Ketchup
  • HP Fruity Sauce
  • HP Honey Smoked Barbecue Sauce
  • HP Oak Smoked Barbecue Sauce
  • Reggae Reggae Sauce
  • Coleman’s Mustard.

Look and see!

Aw Da Sauce!
Aw Da Sauce!

I don’t really get the need for them all but it was impressive nonetheless.

Overall: As I spoke to people about this pie it definitely split the crowd. The fact it was quite greasy counted against it while the fact it was actually pretty tasty worked in its favour. I found myself somewhere in the middle.

Gravy Factor: Aaaah I’m so confused by this pie, in some ways great in others not quite right. It’s definitely gravy, but of what variety? I think on this occasion I’ll leave that totally up to you.

I’ve got a plan for pie 99 but as yet no destination for it.

So until next time go forth and eat pie!

Chris Marshall, is a BJTC accredited Radio Journalist with an honours degree in Communications & Mass Media from Glasgow Caledonian University. He has contributed to prominent football sites including Pie & Bovril, The Terrace Podcast, The Football Pink and The FBA’s as well as featuring in The Scotsman, STV and a number of other media outlets. A perennial ‘Scottish Sporting Optimist’ with a passion for food that has manifest itself in the wonder that is Meat Filled Pastries.

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