Pie 75: The Shettleston Pie

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Hi folks, I know I know it’s been a while I apologise, I had some battery recharging to do and some bits and pieces of non pie related stuff that needed some immediate attention but fear not Meat Filled Pastries is back to work with a review from Shettleston Juniors based in Glasgow’s east end but before that time for your regular pie-atribe.

As I am sure many of you will be aware that recently Scotland was in the midst of referendum fever and whilst I am disappointed with the outcome I am not here to go on a mini rant of gloom and doom. Firstly that’s not in my nature as I, like many others, am hopeful that whatever happens in the coming months will be beneficial for Scotland and its patrons at home and abroad but secondly, and most importantly, football and politics should not mix.

Let me explain.

As I have mentioned previously I have been known to frequent Ibrox on the odd occasion. On my last visit I was greeted on entry by a raft of ‘No’ paraphernalia making my intuitive decision not to display a ‘Yes’ badge all the wiser. On reaching my seat it was apparent that the partisan Broomloan Front section of the stadium were also very much for the union focusing more on chanting Rule Britannia and flashing ‘No Thanks’ signs than concentrating on what was actually a fairly competent Rangers performance. Now this is an easy illustrative example to make, and it would be even easier to think that the idiotic behaviour of the few in George Square the day after the vote was driven, in the main, by Rangers supporters. It would be impossible to ignore that there are some elements of truth in this assumption but to chastise the masses for the behaviours of a minority is downright ludicrous as for the minority of idiots on one side there can be no doubt that the counter argument will be home to just as many morons. I would have been no happier to go to a Scotland game to be met with ‘Yes’ campaigners thrusting ‘No to Trident’ posters in my face or calling me unpatriotic if, for whatever reason, I had chosen to vote the other way.

Tese behaviours were not solely reserve for the Old Firm or Tartan Army minded amongst and in the main any debates I saw, heard or were involved in where of a convivial nature at football grounds across the country but the fact they were happening still irked me. What right does a team you support have to thrust its political affiliations on you, why can you not support a team because they’re close by, because your grandfather and father supported them or because quite frankly you got so disillusioned that the idea of a new football team to follow signalled a fresh start toyour life as a supporter. This political posturing by fans and clubs is not reserved to independence either. Palestinian, Israeli, Irish, Northern Irish and Catalan flags have all been flown at grounds across Scotland as some kind of misguided solidarity with a situation that only a small percentage of those in attendance will fully comprehend.

I am not against political debate, I am all for it and I hope that the revitalised Scottish scene continues to grow but please, please, please when you wrap that scarf around your neck, push your arm through the turnstile and launch into the traditional kick off roar just please leave the politics at home and let the football fuel all the debates you need.

So yeah pack it in! Anyway we’re back to Shettleston so without much further ado, let’s rate some pie!

THE SURROUNDINGS

Where: Greenfield Park, Shettleston v Pollok, West of Scotland Superleague, First Division

The Green, Green Grass of Greenfield
The Green, Green Grass of Greenfield

Price: £1. Something that has quickly became the standard price in the West Superleague First Division. My, that’s a bit of a mouthful innit? Anyway one golden nugget for a pie can’t really grumble about that.

Presentation: This was just bizarre, as you will shortly see, this pie was presented in a polystyrene bowl with no napkin. I’ve heard of a roll and pie an often scoffed at delicacy, but a bowl and pie, no thank you. And the no napkin scenario is just lunacy. ( A slight exaggeration on my part as one contained after completing the prerequisite number of nods and winks). The pie etiquette here was just all wrong.

THE PIE

Seriously, A BOWL!
Seriously, A BOWL!

Meatiness: I am afraid to say this was not the finest example of a scotch pie I have ever encountered. There was a slim layer of mince within this pie but that was it. It had a slight savoury flavour but there was no distinct peppery kick and although it was moist all the moistness achieved was to wash away the meaty flavour found within. Texturally it was fine but I’d be a liar if I said that this particularly meaty filling was something I would go out my way to have again.

Brown Sauce: I mentioned earlier on about poor pie etiquette, this was in evidence once again when on the request for brown sauce I was not allowed the simple task of applying it myself but instead presented with a pre-sauced pie. My question is simple, how do you know how much sauce I like on my pie? For example, some people smear a layer so thick it looks like they’re icing a cake while others suffice with the merest of splodges. Let me sauce my own pie!.

Pastry: To be fair the meat was not the biggest problem and neither was the saucing debacle, the bowl, however, was and this had disastrous consequences for the pastry underneath. Politely put it was a bit soft but realistically it was a soggy mess. Here’s why. Because the pie was placed in a polystyrene bowl the steam was trapped in a pocket between the pies base and the bottom of the bowl, now as we know when steam gets trapped it forms condensation causing water droplets to form on or around the surface of an item, in this case the pie. This meant that as you bit the pie the bahookie fell out of it almost straight away. The more you bit into it the more mess it made. The pastry walls started crumbling and before I knew it theres was pits of pastry floating about everywhere in a mincy sea. It was just all a bit wrong.

Overall: See if this hadn’t been served in a bowl this would probably have been a perfectly serviceable bog standard Saturday snack, however it wasn’t and along with the fails in pie etiquette this pie did not leave many fond memories.

Gravy Factor: A Gravy Boat. But where’s the Gravy? Ditch the bowls.

I feel I have to say this ever time but I don’t like writing negative reviews, but I am nothing but honest and when it comes to all things football you will never find me blowing smoke up anyone’s orifice. Anyway the next review shall be from Ayrshire at Ladywell Park home of Maybole Juniors, I promise I’ll try to get this out a bit quicker.

However until next time. go forth and eat pie!

Interested in some non pie work then visit The Football Pink at,  http://footballpink.net/2014/09/22/the-sporadic-scottish-football-round-up-first-installment/ for the first of my Scottish football midseason reviews covering men’s, women’s, senior and junior football in Scotland.

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